Two different sized bags are packed, both filled with clothing, balloons and A3 laminates as I wait for the taxi to take him to school. The balloons and pictures are in his school bag along with other things necessary to help maintain order during the day. In addition, he has a digital camera around his neck, hanging from a lanyard and huge headphones blasting sound from his MP3. These are not music recordings but his own creations, accompanied by the strains of him shouting and clicking. I laugh; even when he’s quiet, you get to hear the pre-recorded version.
An extra-large holdall containing clothing for the weekend also has his playstation and as many Thomas the Tank trains and track he can get away with taking. You see not only is he going to school, for the next few days, he will be in respite too. This is my chance for a break, the opportunity to relax and rebuild a bit of strength in order to start again next week in the ongoing battle to maintain the support he needs. Not many people do help either. He is 19-years-old now and built so big, most shy away.
Respite is good though; he enjoys it and I get a break. It’s been a while since a similar scheme under the children’s service. There he would have regular temper meltdowns and I would be called to come and collect him, rendering the respite useless. Now he is an adult in an adult respite home. Things have gone smooth so far and I have begun to relax. He’s in his eighth stay with no problems and it couldn’t be better. I wave him off to school, bags and all.
I go into town, eating out for breakfast then enjoy a lovely day with my partner. We plan to go out in the evening too, free of any thought of the hurdles involved in a carers life.
Five o’clock, I get the call. He went into the yard at the respite home, hoping to film a helicopter he could hear flying overhead. He did this and even though smiling, something in that instance triggered a temper meltdown, culminating in him attacking a member of staff.
They say everything is okay and will only call me again if there are further problems, but the damage is done. David is heavily autistic; he has serious behaviour issues and even though I do not have to collect him on this occasion, respite in my mind … is cancelled.
Wonderful writing Nick! It’s hard to believe David’s an adult now. Is he still enjoying taking his interesting photos. i still think you should compile some and put them in a book titled something like, The World Through David’s Eyes. you are a good person and a wonderful parent. David is very fortunate, as are you. Sometimes the most difficult roads traveled are the most interesting….
Yes, he still goes around, camera in hand. He does take too many video clips of things off the telly and internet but there is still space for the odd gem. His pictures, as you say, are the closest I get to seeing what he sees.
Thanks.
Fabulous compelling story which is as real to the reader through the skill, love and passion of the writer. Caring is the hardest and most rewarding job on the planet.
Nick I have some students who would be keen to hear this powerful story. Thank you for the insight into both your worlds. Lynne
Thanks for your kind words. Feel free to share with whoever you wish. Hope to see you around again.
I got messages from you recently from MySpace. For the life of me, I could not retrieve my password. I have so missed reading your posts! I have moved on to Face Book, RedGage, and Gather. Please try to find me on Face Book as Karen Gate Emmons.
I’ve missed hearing from you too among many others (Damn Myspace). I see you’re on Myspace bloggers here too. Not really been using that until now as I haven’t really blogged since last September. Back now though.
Lovely to see you.
Nick
Nice to catch up with you and David again.
Kay
Glad you could join me. Can’t say I’m missing Myspace as a place to write and post stuff, but I sure miss the folks I met there.
Nick
I recently got messages from you on MySpace. For the life of me I could not remember my password. I wanted to know so badly what you had messaged. Were you trying to share your blogs? Now you can!!! are you on FaceBook? If so, find me! It is me Pl8_ime! (“playtime.”)
At Face Book I am Karen Gate Emmons.
Yes, the messages were to say ‘here I am.’ Found you and friends request on Facebook sent.
I knew it was you but I have to adnit … only just got the ‘playtime,’ reference after all these years. Doh!
Really pleased I got through. I do miss Myspace friends, if not Myspace itself.
Nick
I just want to say you are an amazing parent. He is so lucky to have you. As I am sure you consider yourself lucky to have him. This is my first time here reading but I will definately be coming back to read more…. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, hope to see you around again. It can be tough as a parent at any times, and with an autistic 19-year-old, even more so but we get by.
Nick
Thannks for writing