Only one place to begin this week …

And that’s in the Sanctuary of the Mercy Church in Zaragosa, Spain.

Yes, childish, I know, but I can’t stop giggling at the fresco ruined by the 80-year-old woman who thought she was helping by attempting to touch up the image of Christ which has been on the wall of the church over 120 years.

Poor old Christ, he once looked like this …

But damp attacking the plaster, rendered him like this …

Enter Cecilia Giménez and her box of acrylic paints. She thought she’d save the church the bother of forking out to restore it by doing the job herself. However, things got a little out of hand and Christ now looks like this …

I don’t know what all the fuss is about. It’s probably a truer interpretation of Christ than the usual inaccurate westernised image we see everywhere. What do you reckon, post modernist or impressionism?

I’m certain the Sanctuary of the Mercy Church will survive this one. I’m not so sure about Cecilia Giménez, though. With all the furore over this, she looks like she needs a little sanctuary, herself but there doesn’t seem to be much mercy shown by this church. Poor Cecilia, she’s now having to run the gauntlet of hate and she was only trying to help. She’s in her 80s. Leave the woman alone before she has a heart attack.

Is Richard III buried under a car park in Leicester?

Do we bloody well care? What the hell is the point of this? It’s taken over 500 years for scholars to come up with the theory that he was taken to a Friary where the Greyfriars Car Park now stands. So what if he was buried there. You going to dig the whole lot up just to prove a point? It ain’t going to bring him back to life so if you want to find out if he really did kill the princes in the tower, you’re not going to find out this way.

Leave him be. It’s bad enough trying to find a parking space in Leicester without ruining a perfectly good car park just to do a bit of grave robbing.

That’s right, Richard. You stay hidden in a car park, or some 80-year-old woman will come along and paint a hump on your back.

Meanwhile, talking of Cecilia Giménez …

Our little old dear escapes the limelight in Zaragosa by taking a trip to Norway and visiting the National Gallery, there.

Shall I scream or will you?

So … what’s the Royal Knob been up to this week?

Now from previous posts, you may have gathered I am not a huge royalist but all this fuss about Harry being photographed unclothed is pathetic.

I mean … Do we really care? And if we do, then there must be little else in our sad lives if this is of public interest.

So Harry is naked. We all are at some point of the day. Also, he was romping with some lass. Big deal.

Sleazy paper, The Sun, decided it was their duty to splash the pic on the front cover the other day. That was after posting a fake version in their previous edition.

There you go. The two side by side. Obviously a mock-up wasn’t enough so they had to come all moral obligation on us. And just to avoid any legal comeback, they explain in very big letters, that people have already seen it on the internet, anyway.

The Sun, News International and all you other Murdoch slimeballs … go and crawl under a stone.

And on the next stage of Cecilia’s road trip …

She takes a trip to The Hauge and the Mauritshuisg Gallery.

Girl with the Very Tacky Earring?

Pot Kettle Black – Iain Duncan Smith

Tory twit – Iain Duncan Smith, this week spouted more of his bullshit when he claimed the BBC were biased against the Conservative party. He says the corporation portrays the news in a gloomy way and it makes his party look bad when all they are trying to do, is make the country better.

No. The BBC don’t make the Conservatives look bad, the politicians make a good job of doing that themselves.

Iain Duncan Smith goes on to say the BBC economics editor had peed over the Tories.

Hmmm … Makes a change from the Tories peeing over the rest of the country.

Shit … Cecilia’s reached Paris now.

Oh No. Poor Mona. Leonardo will be livid.

Can’t see the App-eal, myself.

Two new apps (see … look how with it I am in terms of technology) are being launched soon.

The first will tell your sat-nav, when exactly traffic lights are about to change so you can adjust your speed accordingly. The selling point is, you will never be held up by traffic lights again.

WTF? Yes you will. Whatever speed you go, you’re still not going to get across those lights any quicker, so what’s the point? Also, if you reduce to 5mph and drive like Miss Daisy, I give it two minutes before some plonker doesn’t realise you’re going that slow and rams into the back of you. Ridiculous.

The second device is a text speak translator. Now some might think this a GR8 but I don’t. Instead of a device to get you to understand what it is teenagers are talking about, how about one that lets you understand teenagers – in general.

OMG! OMG! Cecilia’s in New York.

Surely she wouldn’t … Not Starry Night?

Noooooooo! She’s given it cloud cover.

Cecelia. Go back to Zaragosa. All is forgiven. They want you to have another go at Jesus.