Tag Archive: Dentist

And the latest status.

Of course, not a Myspace status because my old Myspace site has gone. Thanks, Timberlake and co. I reported that in my blog the other week. So, one way or another, my old blogs will need to see the light of day again. They will not remain buried in cyber-hell. Therefore, another reminisce is in order and a reprint of some of the classic roasts of old.

Aug 25 - Archives

Put a sock in it. (Originally posted 30 August 2009)

I don’t know what it is, but some shops must see me coming. They think I’m the ideal person to pile their rubbish items onto. Take the case of the pack of seven pairs of socks I bought from Matalan last week. Nice, they were, until I tried them on and found the heels halfway up the back of my calves. Now I’m a size 11 and these were actually supposed to cover 8 to 11. However, I think it was more like a 15 or 16. I gave them to my son, David who is an infeasible size 14, and they don’t even fit him. I reckon they were designed for a clown and they should have been sent to the costume shop instead. That’s right, because clowns really do have giant feet, don’t they?

Aug 25 - Clown Feet

And a 2013 footnote (sorry … bad pun). I recently bought another pair of socks from the same store. 8 to 11 again. Hmmm, my youngest son is wearing these on his size 7 feet, now.

And talking of buying clothes … (Originally posted 9 August 2009).

And yes, it was also Matalan.

Aug 25 - Matalan Walsall

Why is it that when I go to any clothing retailer, they seem to have every size of jeans conceivable … apart from mine.

I’m a 34/34 (Width/Leg) and no matter how hard I try, my size is never there. Does this mean that it is the most popular and I am basically generic?

And another footnote. Matalan still have no jeans in my size.

And I was just as stroppy in 2009. (Originally posted 30 August 2009)

I got into an argument at a petrol station the other day when some impatient bastard tried telling me to hurry up. I can’t help it. I’m OCD. I have to get the litres on the dial exactly on the .00. You see, 51.00 litres – Great. 50.99 or 51.01 … No no no no noooo! Can’t be doing with that.

I had the last laugh on this one, though as the guy moaned so much about how long I was taking, it distracted me and I went over by .02 of a litre … so I had to start slowly again until I rounded off at the next one.

Awkward – Me?

Crikey. I filled up today and this time it was me moaning about somebody taking too long. Oh well.

Oh no! History repeats again. (Originally Posted 12 July 2009)

This was my tale that week regarding a trip to the dentist.

Oh well, another week over and I made the mistake of checking the calender. No!

I have to go to the Dentist tomorrow. It’s only for a routine check up but I just know there will be treatment to be had.

I never had a problem with the dentist before but in recent years as I get older, I find it increasingly traumatic. I lie there tensed up and just want to get out of the place. I think it’s because I no longer trust my dentist. You see, he is the same both Ex-Wife and Myself used to see when we were married, and still do, only separately now. I don’t know if he’s heard some untrue nonsense or if he has just taken her side, but I certainly seem to get rough treatment these days. The fact he is called Mr Carver is equally disturbing.

Aug 25 - The Dentist Little Shop of Horrors

The thing that gets me at Dentists is the numbness after the anesthetic. I hate it. The first thing I want to do when I got home is have a drink, even though I know it will be the ritual of drinking sideways in case it runs down my face. I remember a time when I had both sides frozen. Now that was fun.

So, tomorrow, if I have to have the needle, I will endure a dribbling mouth and then try to use lip balm without realising I’m actually applying it to my cheeks. Still, at least after a few hours, I can have a cup of soup which tastes of chicken and dental residue

Perhaps I shouldn’t open that big block of toffee, though.

Back to 2013 … and I checked the calendar. Wednesday 28 August. 0830. Guess where I’m going?




A bit like pulling teeth.

No, this isn’t another bit about people on the Jeremy Kyle Show who have bad teeth. The reason I’m posting a retro picture from a 1980s advert for toothpaste is that I had to go to the dentist the other day. The thing is … dentists – I hate going. The whole procedure is so invasive. On top of that, I’m sure my dentist hates me and took my ex-wife’s side when we divorced. Every time I go, he is far too rough with the scale and polish. Then there’s having a filling. He says having anaesthetic is dangerous these days and I need the drilling without one. I think he’s lying. Come on, I have reason to be worried. Even his name – Mr Carver. It send shivers. I insisted on a jab in the end though, then spent the rest of the day dribbling tea down my shirt as a result.

Still, I needed the filling done and all went well this time, apart from after Mr Carver finished and he asked if I needed to rinse my mouth.

‘Yes please,’ I said, ‘but I’ll have a cup of tea, that pink stuff is disgusting.’

Hmmmm. You know when you’ve said the wrong thing. Talk about no sense of humour. Mind you, with him being a dentist, perhaps it was the two sugars I asked for in my drink which he objected to?

Join the 21st Century, Mrs Wilkinson.

It amazes me that in this age of equality (and supposedly, common sense), there are still narrow-minded bigots clinging onto outdated beliefs based on biblical teachings that are most probably works of fiction.

Michael Black and John Morgan had booked into the Swiss Bed and Breakfast in Cookham, only to be turned away by religious nut, Susanne Wilkinson when she found out the couple were gay.

Quite rightly, John and Michael have received a payout as compensation for being discriminated against but church groups are still smarting. They say Swiss B&B was also Mrs Wilkinson’s home. Yes, she may live there, but when you chose to run your home as a business, you lose the right to impose illegal bigoted stances.

Jumping on the bandwagon and defending Mrs Wilkinson was BNP slime-ball, Nick Griffin. Now there’s a guy, I’m sure even Mrs Wilkinson doesn’t want to be associated with. Slick Nick tweeted in her defence. I took a look at his page and replied, though he hasn’t reacted to me. I did find it amusing and ironic, though to see Nick Griffin use the terms vile and filth … about other people.

Pot, kettle, black?

The Swiss B&B – Not open to homosexuals, lesbians, unmarried heterosexual couples or just about anybody who isn’t a believer of the bullshitting work of fiction, commonly known as the Bible.

And another own goal for God.

Poor George Pratt. All the 11-year-old wanted was to join the Boy Scouts. Unfortunately, he has been refused by the 1st Midsomer Norton Group in Somerset. The reason for this discrimination is that George is an atheist and will not compromise his beliefs. The Scouts say to join, you must pledge allegiance to the Almighty.

What a load of bollocks. It’s bad enough to have to say you’ll do your duty to the Queen to get into the scouts, but at least (unfortunately) a monarchy exists, not like this biblical nonsense. What bearing should that have on a kid wanting to join a youth organisation?

I never progressed to the scouts. I was in the cubs but left after being asked to dress up as a girl for a part in a drama play by a very suspect scout leader. He kept trying to play with my woggle.

A slap in the face for hard work.

Computer company owner, Maneesh Sethi, from San Francisco has employed a woman to keep him from straying onto Facebook while at work. He pays personal assistant, Kara, a wage to slap him every time he goes onto the social network suite. However, I bet Kara wasn’t expecting to come into work the first day and find this …

Personal Assistant … is that what they’re calling BDSM in the workplace, now? Perhaps more companies should try it.

On a different note, you would not believe how many sites I had to trawl to find a clean BDSM picture. Not only that, I got a virus from doing so, too.

And on an even more vague observation, does anybody else get fed up of Live Jasmin popping up every time you want to watch pre-recorded porn on the internet?

Disgraceful scenes.

Saw the appalling treatment given to England’s Under-21 black players by the friendly Serbs the other day. Monkey chants throughout the game followed by thuggish behaviour by a sorry load of sour losers. Of course, the Serbians deny this. A bit like they’ve denied genocide in the past. I’d like to think this is the minority and most Serbs are a decent lot. Unfortunately, there weren’t many in the stadium in Krusevac the other night.

And on the subject of football …

Stoke City footballer, Peter Crouch has been banned from driving after clocking up 21pts for persistently speeding. It’s nice to know the lumbering England forward knows the meaning of speed once in a while. Not only that, 21 points is way more than his team Stoke will achieve before Christmas.

There’s Peter Crouch …

And here’s wife, Abbey Clancy.

Hmmmm … Is it his good looks, stunning personality, or just the kudos for her of being a wag for the fame and the money?

At least the anaesthetic has worn off now …

And my teeth are fine. Not only that, there was hardly a mention in this post about Jeremy Kyle’s orally challenged guests. However, as I have said in the past, my site statistics show that is what half of you have Google searched before arriving at my page. Just to look at pictures of bad teeth. Christ, I’m going to have to satisfy demand again.

There, happy now?



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