Tag Archive: gaming


Well … I’m back.

What do you mean, you didn’t realise I’d been away?

Ha! … For your information, this past week I was on holiday with the kids at Trecco Bay.

June 30 - Trecco Bay

As some may know, it has been a horrendous year and I think we all needed this break. A bit of sunshine, fun and relaxation. I mean, it’s only me, nothing could go wrong … surely?

Is there still a war on?

Strange place, South Wales. I love the area we go to. Porthcawl is nice. Lovely beaches and you’re not far from Cardiff and some beautiful castles, elsewhere. However, you do need to use your sat-nav at times. You see, signposts are all very well to get around but South Wales seem to think there is a war on as they’ve removed the signs from where you need them most. You can go for miles and not see any directions. They are still trying to confuse the enemy invaders.

And talking of signs causing confusion …

What the hell does this one mean?

June 30 - Duck  © Antony N Britt

???

Apparently, motorists have to be warned against a stampede of Bernie Cliftons.

June 30 - Bernie Clifton

Discrimination against certain breakfast items.

I had a few nice cooked breakfasts at the Coast Bar during my stay at Trecco Bay. However, I came across blatant discrimination when I asked to swap my beans and tomatoes (yuk) for extra mushrooms.

‘We can exchange the beans,’ I was told, ‘but not the tomato.’

Okay, so what makes a bloody tomato so special, and what have the poor baked beans done to be treated in such a dismissive matter?

Bureaucracy … doesn’t it drive you mad.

Wore the kids out with a nice three mile stroll.

Okay, I admit, the kids were fine, it was me who couldn’t walk for the rest of the week.

We left our caravan park one day and hiked along the beach into Porthcawl. Like many places in the area, it’s sad to see it run down with most attractions, closed. It wasn’t the worst, by any means, however I shall come to that in a bit.

It was still a good day and I did encounter this bizarre sculpture which appealed to my deranged taste.

Dead Mermaid Porthcawl © Antony N Britt

Okay … a dead mermaid, eyes and mouth open to the sun. There’s a story in that, somewhere.

On the way back, I got hungry and was tempted by the smell of chips. Not just any old chips, either. These were real chips.

Real Chips at Porthcawl © Antony N Britt

So … can anybody tell me where exactly there is a shop which sells fake chips?

Shit places to visit (Chapter Two).

Chapter One, though I didn’t title it as such at the time, was Porthmadog, which I spoke about in my roast of May 5. Then, I thought that was the most boring place to visit but boy … was I mistaken.

I spent the last day of my holiday, losing loads of money in the greedy slots at Caesar’s Palace.

June 30 - Caesar's Palace

Ahh … I see your confusion. No, I didn’t mean Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, I’m talking about Caesar’s Palace … Barry Island, South Wales.

Caersar's Palace Barry Island © Antony N Britt

I went to Barry Island hoping to take the kids to the funfair. It was shut, as was everywhere apart from a few amusement arcades. In fact, the only fair attraction I saw which was open was this Hook-a-Duck.

Hook-a-Duck Barry Island © Antony N Britt

There it is, and the woman operating it appeared to be asleep.

So, I had to watch as male kid spent all my hard earned money, shoving two pence coins into a machine in the vain hope he would get a tacky key ring which cost about 1p to make.

Greedy Slot Machines © Antony N Britt

It’s the playing that counts … isn’t it?

Barry Island … I don’t think I’d bother if I were you. However, if you do insist on visiting, these men might have finished the building work by the time the main summer rush begins in a couple of weeks.

IMGP9343 © Antony N Britt

I should have known. Surely, after driving onto the main car park for the town, this should have given me a clue as to what I could expect.

IMGP9347 © Antony N Britt

Hmm … Not pushed to find a space, was I? Maybe I shouldn’t have paid for four hours.

Still, it was a good holiday …

… and I took some nice snaps. However, I’m not going to post them here. Instead, I will leave you with the image of this glove I found in Caerphilly.

IMGP9346 © Antony N Britt

More will be revealed as to the reason for this lost glove during the weeks ahead.

So I’m back home, and need to catch up with what’s been happening in the world so I can write about it in next week’s roast. I have to admit, I’ve struggled of late to find stupid stuff to poke fun at. I need something ridiculous. Like … I don’t know, some idiot deciding to hand our already over privileged monarch a whopping £1.79million pay rise in times of cuts and hardship for others.

Nah … nobody would be that much of a cretin.

Cheers.

Nick

An explanation.

Last October, I marked the 4th anniversary edition of the Sunday Roast by reposting some older pieces which are now, unfortunately, lost in the depths of Myspace. I said, when reposting that I would make it a regular occurrence. Well, I think the time is right to do so again. Most of those posts are impossible to find on the now-useless Myspace and if you did, you’d find my pictures have been wiped by the techno-cretins who administer the thing.

Therefore, I shall keep to my promise of bringing to life once more, those roasts of the past. Or, to put it another way, I have bugger all to write about this week so decided to recycle a load of 4-year-old junk.

February 24 - Recycle Logo

The day after I hit 45 … (Originally Posted 26 October 2008)

I wrote the following pieces the day after my forty-fifth birthday. Now, what wouldn’t I give to be 45 again and not, as is currently the case, approaching a rather more daunting landmark. Looking back, I appear to have had a good time.

I had loads of nice stuff for my birthday, the most amusing being a Doctor Who, toy sonic screwdriver. Look, I am Doctor Who crazy and have been since I was a kid. They never had things like toy sonic screwdrivers in those days, I had to make do with a broken tyre pressure gauge and pretend. Still, all ends well. I have one now. The irony is, I spent over half an hour looking for a tiny screwdriver so that I could put the batteries into the sonic one.

Febriary 24 - Toy Sonic Screwdriver © Antony N Britt

Over four years later, I still have the sonic device.

Also on that birthday …

I went to see one of my favourite groups, The Stranglers at the Carling Academy in Birmingham. I go every time they are in town, which is usually once a year and I really enjoyed myself. I like to go as you never know how long they will keep going before one of them dies. It is quite amusing, however, watching a band which has been around for over thirty years and seeing the ageing audience rock the night away. It used to be that the fans all had hideous comb-overs. Now they go for the shaved look as it seems more trendy. I was there, in the mix, enjoying myself in the centre of the crowd doing the old man’s dance routine of rocking about without moving your legs. Still, I couldn’t help myself. No … you don’t understand. I really couldn’t help myself not being able to move my legs. You see, there was so much spilled beer about the place, my Dr Martens had stuck to the floor.

As the evening wore on, a crowded arena became more spacious as the majority of larger members of the audience tried to find what few seats there were in order to gasp for breath as they searched for an oxygen tank.

Still, it all went off well and even my vehicle was still there when I returned to the car park. I had unfortunately, made the mistake of leaving it in possibly the most frightening and decrepit car park I can ever remember using. However, it was cheap (for Birmingham) and it was really nice of those bums to light a bonfire next to my car so I could find it in the dark.

Bedroom Mess … (Originally posted 26 October 2008).

I got one task out of the way – The horror of cleaning the kids bedroom. This is the one my other kids who live elsewhere, stay in during the nights they are with me. Unfortunately, it had been a while since cleaning and I found some right horrors under the bed. One particular item, and I am not quite sure what it, is now in a cage and I’m feeding it.

Feb 24 - Poltergeist Clown

The possibility of what you might find underneath the bed.

Time management … (Originally posted 2 November 2008)

Arrrgggh! There is so much I want to do these days and I just haven’t got the time. And do you know why? Bloody Spider Solitaire. You know, the cheap free game which comes with windows on the PC. It is the most addictive thing I have ever played. Seven hours the other week I was bloody well on the thing. I could still see cards in my sleep. In fact, I am playing it now while typing, for Christ’s sake. King, Queen, Jack, Ten, Seven … Bugger!

Feb 24 - Spider Solitaire

Anyway, will somebody please come over to my house and remove it from my PC as soon as possible SO I CAN GET SOME FRIGGIN WORK DONE! Six, Five, Four, Ace … Damn!

Let’s abbreviate this … (Originally posted 9 November 2008)

I have been a bit down and tired this week. I found things a struggle and at times, ill as if I was coming down with something. However, it never transpired into a full illness. My nan used to talk about winter weariness and when I was young, I used to make fun of how she constantly went on about it. However, these days, I think I know what she was talking about.

At least two people have actually said to me that I may have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). What this basically means, in the winter months, I turn into a right miserable bastard.

What do you mean, just in the winter months?

Great. Now I have SAD on top of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). What is this, a case of AB (Abbreviation Syndrome)? Next thing, it’ll be POWGTW (Pissed Off With Going To Work), or even OCIBTCA (Oh Christ, I Burnt The Chips Again). I’ll shut up, before I develop BYTTS (Boring You To Tears Syndrome)

Talking about OCD, I was having a meal recently and was picked up over my peculiar habits. You know the sort of thing … like the fact you there is a method to what order you should eat things off a plate. Look, if I’ve eaten all my vegetables then find one solitary pea under my rump steak, the world will end – okay!

I never actually realised how bad my OCD was until I started talking about it. However, the stupid thing is, I deliberately start doing things which aren’t OCD, just to disprove the theory. I guess what it all boils down to is that it has taken me a number of decades to finally realise, yes, I am strange.

February 24 - CD Collection © Antony N Britt

Look, arranging your CDs in artist order, then sub-sorting them into date of release, is the only way to achieve perfect karma.

That’s all folks, for now, from the best of the Myspace Blogs.

It’s interesting for me to delve into them, if I’m honest. And a bit frightening. It’s been years since I wrote them and now reading back, I’m kind of thinking … this guys on another planet.

Feb 24 - Saturn

Cheers.

Nick

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