Antony N Britt – Author

Severe weather warning.

In the UK, we really are rubbish at dealing with the weather.

Did you see that picture? Exactly. That’s what it takes. The full extent of a snowfall needed in this country to bring the place to a standstill.

First thing Friday morning, I was hearing that most of the schools were open. By lunchtime, parents were being called to come and get the kids because of the snow. And it was the same elsewhere. People sent home from work early, all ending up in huge traffic jams as they left at the same time. Wouldn’t it have been better to work till late and go home when it was quieter? Just a thought.

Now I’m not going to lie, I haven’t taken my car out. You see the main reason is the roads. Even though we’ve only had a few inches of white stuff, they are terrible because very few are safe to drive on. Our council workers do a good job with the budget allowed and I was told via Twitter by our fingers on the pulse council that they had cleared the important areas on Friday. Walsall Town Centre and schools had been gritted and also, they made sure all the cemeteries were clear.

Cemeteries … really? Were they one of the most important places to keep accessible? I mean, it’s not as if the residents are going anywhere, is it.

I guess the authorities try their best. I’m just glad I’m not one of those who it took several hours to get home the other day. Even so, as professional a job as they did, those in the UK can’t beat the folk in some countries like Canada. I’ve seen this pic bandied about a few times on Facebook and Twitter … so I stole it.

Think the UK can match that? No, neither can I.

Happy Snow Days, folks.

The sums don’t add up …

Well these wouldn’t, because I’m talking about long division. Apparently, education ministers want to return to the old-fashioned method of dividing numbers. What a waste of time. I used to use my own method at school and I have to admit, as good as I am at simple maths, I never understood long division, whatsoever. And why should I? I can divide, and I’ve never needed it. It’s the same as algebra. Come to think of it, it’s the same as just about everything in mathematics apart from add, subtract, multiply and divide. Any other kind of sums, I’ve never used in my life.

What’s wrong with teaching the kids the basics instead of complicating things? Better still, use a bloody calculator.

And the royal news of the moment …

Yes, the Duchess of Cambridge is still pregnant. However, I did read the other day, a rumour that the baby will be named after whichever town the royal couple were in when it was conceived.

Let’s just hope they weren’t staying there.

Does my bum look big in this?

I was reading this week about two young sisters who have spent £5,000 between them to make their bums look bigger. Karen and Jennifer Lopez, both had bum enlargements before they were 18. This was on top of other cosmetic surgery. You have to wonder about the mentality of parents. I’d personally call it child abuse.

I won’t post a picture of the Lopez sisters. Instead, here’s the real Jennifer Lopez.

I really don’t know why the sisters spent that much and flew to Colombia to have their ass-work done. In the UK, we have a much cheaper method of achieving bum enhancement. It’s called McDonald’s and Burger King.

It’s written in the stars.

Former Page 3 model, Katie Price is in the news again over her love life. She married for a third time recently and of course, this was the big headline in The Sun.

Note … I didn’t buy The Sun, I stole this from a Chinese Takeaway.

What I find interesting is the headline. Apparently, Katie was told to wed by a psychic. The psychic also said she’d marry someone called Kevin. However, her new husband’s name is actually, Kieran. Okay, it begins with a k, has an i, an e and an n in it (all in the wrong order), but apart from that, the psychic got it spot on.

Katie reckons it’s close enough for her. Rather like paying somebody to write all your books then passing them off as your own, is close to being called a writer.

Got to admire Barack.

I know he’s not advocating a total gun ban, but it’s a start, and he’s a brave man to stand up to the ridiculous mentality of the gun lobby and all the crap about a right to bear arms.

There is only one result of carrying a gun, and that’s the fact it will be used. Get rid of the lot. Make them so hard to come by and such a crime to carry one that it would result in an immediate life sentence if you did. Let’s face it. Less guns = less gun crime.

Anyway …

I know it’s a slightly shorter roast this week, but I’m calling a halt due to the snow. Bye.

Cheers.

Nick