Tag Archive: Barack Obama


Severe weather warning.

In the UK, we really are rubbish at dealing with the weather.

Jan 20 - Walsall in Snow © Antony N Britt

Did you see that picture? Exactly. That’s what it takes. The full extent of a snowfall needed in this country to bring the place to a standstill.

First thing Friday morning, I was hearing that most of the schools were open. By lunchtime, parents were being called to come and get the kids because of the snow. And it was the same elsewhere. People sent home from work early, all ending up in huge traffic jams as they left at the same time. Wouldn’t it have been better to work till late and go home when it was quieter? Just a thought.

Now I’m not going to lie, I haven’t taken my car out. You see the main reason is the roads. Even though we’ve only had a few inches of white stuff, they are terrible because very few are safe to drive on. Our council workers do a good job with the budget allowed and I was told via Twitter by our fingers on the pulse council that they had cleared the important areas on Friday. Walsall Town Centre and schools had been gritted and also, they made sure all the cemeteries were clear.

May 20 Question

Cemeteries … really? Were they one of the most important places to keep accessible? I mean, it’s not as if the residents are going anywhere, is it.

I guess the authorities try their best. I’m just glad I’m not one of those who it took several hours to get home the other day. Even so, as professional a job as they did, those in the UK can’t beat the folk in some countries like Canada. I’ve seen this pic bandied about a few times on Facebook and Twitter … so I stole it.

Jan 20 - Meanwhile in Canada

Think the UK can match that? No, neither can I.

Happy Snow Days, folks.

The sums don’t add up …

Well these wouldn’t, because I’m talking about long division. Apparently, education ministers want to return to the old-fashioned method of dividing numbers. What a waste of time. I used to use my own method at school and I have to admit, as good as I am at simple maths, I never understood long division, whatsoever. And why should I? I can divide, and I’ve never needed it. It’s the same as algebra. Come to think of it, it’s the same as just about everything in mathematics apart from add, subtract, multiply and divide. Any other kind of sums, I’ve never used in my life.

What’s wrong with teaching the kids the basics instead of complicating things? Better still, use a bloody calculator.

Jan 20 - Calculator © Antony N Britt

And the royal news of the moment …

Yes, the Duchess of Cambridge is still pregnant. However, I did read the other day, a rumour that the baby will be named after whichever town the royal couple were in when it was conceived.

Jan 20 - Shitterton

Let’s just hope they weren’t staying there.

Does my bum look big in this?

I was reading this week about two young sisters who have spent £5,000 between them to make their bums look bigger. Karen and Jennifer Lopez, both had bum enlargements before they were 18. This was on top of other cosmetic surgery. You have to wonder about the mentality of parents. I’d personally call it child abuse.

I won’t post a picture of the Lopez sisters. Instead, here’s the real Jennifer Lopez.

Jan 20 - Jennifer Lopez Bum

I really don’t know why the sisters spent that much and flew to Colombia to have their ass-work done. In the UK, we have a much cheaper method of achieving bum enhancement. It’s called McDonald’s and Burger King.

It’s written in the stars.

Former Page 3 model, Katie Price is in the news again over her love life. She married for a third time recently and of course, this was the big headline in The Sun.

IMGP8627

Note … I didn’t buy The Sun, I stole this from a Chinese Takeaway.

What I find interesting is the headline. Apparently, Katie was told to wed by a psychic. The psychic also said she’d marry someone called Kevin. However, her new husband’s name is actually, Kieran. Okay, it begins with a k, has an i, an e and an n in it (all in the wrong order), but apart from that, the psychic got it spot on.

Katie reckons it’s close enough for her. Rather like paying somebody to write all your books then passing them off as your own, is close to being called a writer.

Got to admire Barack.

Jan 20 - Barack Obama Gun Law

I know he’s not advocating a total gun ban, but it’s a start, and he’s a brave man to stand up to the ridiculous mentality of the gun lobby and all the crap about a right to bear arms.

There is only one result of carrying a gun, and that’s the fact it will be used. Get rid of the lot. Make them so hard to come by and such a crime to carry one that it would result in an immediate life sentence if you did. Let’s face it. Less guns = less gun crime.

Anyway …

I know it’s a slightly shorter roast this week, but I’m calling a halt due to the snow. Bye.

Cheers.

Nick

Okay, let’s catch up a little with what’s been happening in the world.

These past few weeks, I’ve been going on about my own personal calamities so much I’ve neglected what’s currently happening in the news.

Apparently the other day, several billion people woke with the same horrific image in their heads.

Thankfully, Barack Obama won another term and the vision of Mitt Romney in the Whitehouse, was just a mass neurotic nightmare.

And talking of hysteria.

As I said last week, I’m pretty convinced as to some of the allegations concerning Jimmy Savile. However, each day in the paper, some new accusation is leveled against him. If you were to believe papers like The Sun and Daily Star, Jimmy Savile sexually abused every boy and girl under the age of sixteen in the UK for a thirty-year period. Yes, there is hard evidence but let the authorities sort it out – belatedly. All it seems now is these sleazy papers are digging for any sordid story they can with little fact behind them. It’s a pity they didn’t show such journalistic fervour when kids were getting abused all those years ago. The latest scummy headline can be seen here …

Savile was apparently suspected of being the Yorkshire Ripper. What next? I suppose he has Shergar buried alongside him, was also Hitler and Eva Braun’s love child and secretly lead a double life as Lord Lucan.

Come on, let’s just have the truth. Finally.

Cook a proper meal for once, Sir.

Zany TV chef, Heston Blumenthal admitted recently that he puts tampons in his mouth to cleanse his palate.

Could it simply be the case that Heston’s food tastes like body waste?

Whose having a pay-day?

When is our government going to step in and wipe out these legalised loan sharks who offer payday loans? You know the ones. 4,000%APR and up to your eyes in debt after borrowing £10 for a few days. I know each of us is responsible for managing our affairs but these crooks prey on the desperate. They will dish out cash to anybody who asks, regardless of ability to pay back.

Let’s take a look at one as I type.

Wonga …

There you have it. As I write this at 1431 on Saturday, I could have £400 in my bank within 20 minutes. However, one month from now I would be expected to pay the lot back and more with Wonga making £125.48 in 30 days for very little effort.

People – don’t do it. What happens if you cannot repay in time? Late fees, interest … You could end up owing thousands. Did you really need the money that much? Don’t put yourself into debt while making these greedy sharks even richer.

Wonga have now moved into the football market and are current sponsors of Newcastle United. The deal is worth £24million. Unfortunately, Newcastle have to repay £38million in thirty days time.

Only in Birmingham.

Birmingham City Council is having problems because their new £11million automated phone service does not understand Brummie (local accent for those of you who don’t know). The machines cannot recognise some words spoken in the dialect leaving thousands of callers frustrated. The irony is, the system speaks with a Newcastle Geordie accent. Huge own goal for Birmingham Council. But hang on, have you thought of it like this? Perhaps it isn’t the fact the machines cannot understand Brummie; maybe the callers cannot understand the Geordie accent and are therefore saying the wrong things in response.

Whatever happened to Tony Blair?

Saw this one tucked away in the far corner of a paper this week. Tony Blair (aka Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire) is trying to claim the Iraq economy is booming and military intervention got the country back on track.

Yes, you can hide behind that cheesy grin all you like. Iraq really looks like it’s back on track, what with its 100,000+ dead and the place blown to smithereens.

On yer bike!

My God, we know how to treat our heroes in the UK. Good old Bradley Wiggins – Tour de France winner and Olympic gold medalist. How do we repay him for bringing a bit of glory back to this beleaguered land? We go and run him over in a car.

Tattoo You.

No, I’m not talking about the Rolling Stones album of 1981 (In fact, the only Stones on vinyl I ever bought). The headline refers to HMV Music Stores and the news they have banned staff from having long hair and tattoos.

Come on, for years I thought having a tattoo was part of the job description in working for HMV. Now I’ve never been a great fan of body art. I leave that to guests on Jeremy Kyle.

Who … Me?

Yes, you. But as for those working in HMV – leave them alone. It’s what we expect when you walk in the shop. Let’s face it, it’s only rock and roll (and we like it).

Elm Disease?

A woman in Cardiff claims to have cured herself of Crohn’s disease by eating trees.

Yes, after chewing away at chippings, Marlene Barnes says she’s on the mend.

I’ve heard of alternative bullshitting medicine, but this is barking mad (sorry couldn’t resist). I feel like a sap now after that bad joke.

What does the future have in store?

So USA doesn’t have an idiot in charge of their country. I suppose the same could be said over here, even if I don’t agree with Tory policy. Still, it could be worse. What was that nightmare I had the other night, the one about our next PM?

Noooooooooooooooo!

Cheers.

Nick

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