An update …

Things still pretty rubbish in the house of Nick. I will tell all in a future Living with David post but until everything is sorted, it’s best to keep quiet. Rest assured, he’s okay, it’s others who were meant to be helping him that are the problem. So, I shall try to keep roasting and inflict some news, views and the stupid things I encounter in my life. If only in smaller packages

And none stupider that this parcel I received last week.

I had ordered a tool to help my son dismantle cabinets at his old flat. It arrived the other day. See …

August 11 packing 1

Note the scale. Twelve inches by about six, in the form of this cardboard box.

Curious, you may ask. What tool could I have bought which required such a delivery. A large screwdriver, sets of spanners … a great big hammer to smash the unit to pieces? No, none of those. Shall we see?

August 11 packing 2

Open the box. Hmmmmm. What tool would warrant all this loose packing inside. Must be something extremely fragile. Shall we press on?

August 11 - Packing 3

Wait! Is the item in that plastic bag. What the hell?

August 11 Allen Key

There you have it. Quite the most over the top packaging ever for a two-inch by one, Allen Key (pictured in the middle of the box if you can just about spot it).

You have to give the company credit. There is no way that tiny piece of hardened steel was going to shatter in the post.

Talk to the face …

Latest in a series of crazy technological apps is one which will apparently make paying for services, easier.

Smartphones will now have the ability to allow shoppers to make a payment by using their face. You can check in, have your image recognised and use it as a valid payment record.

Great. I’m now going to pay for plastic surgery so I can look like either Paul McCartney or Bernie Ecclestone.

Comedy of the Year?

Aug 11 - The Heat

That’s what the trailer said about new film, The Heat.

Is it ridiculously funny as claimed, I have no idea. However, if it is all it’s cracked up to be, shouldn’t there be at least one funny bit in the promo to tempt me?

 They’ve finally bitten the dust …

Aug 11 - jedward

Yay! After irritating the hell out of us for the past four or five years, talentless duo, Jedward are facing a battle to stay in the public eye as the novelty has worn off. Two albums flopping and now dropped by their mentor, people have had enough.

Now I have to admit, I’ve nothing against them. Actually, I don’t watch anything they would be on or listen to their (alleged) music. But I do have to say one thing to them. Well done. A fantastic act of forging a career by being annoying twats of the highest degree. Come on, lads, it was never going to last, but you’ve done well out of pretending to be stupid.

I really hope they were pretending.

Twins … fascinating subject. Always amazed by the tales that one feels the pain of the other. In Jedward’s case, does that mean you’d only have to shoot the one of them?

 Daylight robbery.

Well, robbery of justice, anyway.

Interested to see criminal Ronnie Biggs, celebrating 50 years of the Great Train Robbery. Interested due to the fact the media seem to enjoy glorifying a scumbag who took part in a violent heist which ruined a man’s life, leading to his death shortly after.

Aug 11 - Ronnie Biggs

Here he is in March, still alive despite being given compassionate parole four years earlier while claiming he was on death’s door.

Living the life of luxury in South America for years, he only came home when the money ran out and needed the UK to help him in poor health.

Some people get away with murder. Ronald Biggs? You decide.

All the best, folks.

Hope to see you next week. Hope I’ll be here. Perhaps.