Tag Archive: Packaging

Still harping on about Christmas.

I do hate it. Just for once it would be nice to do something I want instead of having to please other people.

December 23 - Bah Humbug!

Ahh, Christmas. A time when we should all worship our loving God. The same God who slaughters over 2 million of his subjects in the Bible. With friends like him …?

Take the nativity. Jesus is born and God sends a star to guide three wise men to bear gifts. Unfortunately, the star isn’t accurate and the men end up going to King Herod by mistake. So, having been sent the wrong way by God, the wise men blurt out the secret to Herod, thus instigating the massacre of the innocents. Hmm … Doesn’t sound very wise to me.

Dec 29 - Monty Python Wise Men

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Because of God’s misdirection, dozens of newborn subjects, waiting to be brainwashed into loving God, are murdered.

There is a moral to this story. If ever in life you are lost and in need of direction, don’t trust God, buy a Sat-Nav instead.

Merry Christmas.

And talking of Christmas presents …

Earlier this year I did a piece about a two inch Hex/Allen key which came posted to me in a twelve inch box full of polystyrene shapes to protect the metal object. Well, one of David’s Christmas presents nearly matched that for over zealous packing.

Dec 29 - Big Box for Small Item © Antony N Britt

There it is, a massive three-foot box to send a twelve inch toy train. And no bubble wrap … tut tut. It’s a good job my recycle collection came two days after Christmas.

And while I was shopping for the kids toys …

I’m glad my daughter isn’t into those bland karaoke singers from One Dimension (I mean … One Direction). If she was, she may have wanted me to buy her the replica dolls instead of the Gothic Dead Dolls she normally likes (Yes, I have children with strange tastes). However, while I was shopping for Clawdeen Wolf, Venus Flytrap and Viperine Gorgon, I came across the previously mentioned boy-band dolls.

Dec 29 - One Direction Doll in Shop

Ahh … I’m kind of guessing Liam is the minger of the band who nobody wants. I almost feel sorry for him.

And the picture of the week.

When I used to post on Myspace, I only offered one photograph a week at first. It would always be something I came across while out and about. This one I’m sticking on now reminds me of the ludicrous things I used to see.

As I was climbing the staircase to make my way to a coffee shop, I noticed elsewhere in the building there was a CD and Record fair taking place. However, half way up the stairs, after kicking some puppet frog out of the way, I noticed a directional sign for the CD event.

Dec 29 - Upside Down Sign © Antony N Britt

I’m guessing they hadn’t a sign which catered for the stairs turning to the right so therefore had to put this one upside down.

Only in Walsall.

A short observation.

Also in my Myspace roasts, I would have a piece titled, Knob of the Week. Okay, this knob was a couple of weeks ago but I haven’t posted in that time so I really should give one final award and hand it to Lord Hanningfield.

Dec 29 - Lord Hanningfield

Hanningfield has been in the news over the revelation he claimed £300 allowance for spending 45 minutes in the House of Lords one day.

Yet another example of the over privileged having positions of power in this country. In an interview, the Tory Twit stated he didn’t know what the fuss was about. He called it, “A storm in a teacup.”

Spending under an hour to earn £300, I’m surprised he had time for a cup of tea.

And a Happy New Year.

2013 has been the most difficult year of my life, and it had a knock on effect in my writing. As for the Sunday Roast, I hope throughout, people haven’t been offended by what I say. It really is, tongue-in-cheek.

I don’t actually dislike One Direction. I wouldn’t know their songs if they were blasting my eardrums. I don’t even hate Russel Brand, Sharon Osbourne or any of the other celebrities I’ve lampooned. Even the royals, I’m ambivalent about. So I’m truly okay with all I have a go at and none of the insults are meant. Well, apart from those directed at Iain Duncan Smith. He’s a complete cunt.

Dec 29 - Iain Duncan Smith

Farewell from the Sunday Roast.



An update …

Things still pretty rubbish in the house of Nick. I will tell all in a future Living with David post but until everything is sorted, it’s best to keep quiet. Rest assured, he’s okay, it’s others who were meant to be helping him that are the problem. So, I shall try to keep roasting and inflict some news, views and the stupid things I encounter in my life. If only in smaller packages

And none stupider that this parcel I received last week.

I had ordered a tool to help my son dismantle cabinets at his old flat. It arrived the other day. See …

August 11 packing 1

Note the scale. Twelve inches by about six, in the form of this cardboard box.

Curious, you may ask. What tool could I have bought which required such a delivery. A large screwdriver, sets of spanners … a great big hammer to smash the unit to pieces? No, none of those. Shall we see?

August 11 packing 2

Open the box. Hmmmmm. What tool would warrant all this loose packing inside. Must be something extremely fragile. Shall we press on?

August 11 - Packing 3

Wait! Is the item in that plastic bag. What the hell?

August 11 Allen Key

There you have it. Quite the most over the top packaging ever for a two-inch by one, Allen Key (pictured in the middle of the box if you can just about spot it).

You have to give the company credit. There is no way that tiny piece of hardened steel was going to shatter in the post.

Talk to the face …

Latest in a series of crazy technological apps is one which will apparently make paying for services, easier.

Smartphones will now have the ability to allow shoppers to make a payment by using their face. You can check in, have your image recognised and use it as a valid payment record.

Great. I’m now going to pay for plastic surgery so I can look like either Paul McCartney or Bernie Ecclestone.

Comedy of the Year?

Aug 11 - The Heat

That’s what the trailer said about new film, The Heat.

Is it ridiculously funny as claimed, I have no idea. However, if it is all it’s cracked up to be, shouldn’t there be at least one funny bit in the promo to tempt me?

 They’ve finally bitten the dust …

Aug 11 - jedward

Yay! After irritating the hell out of us for the past four or five years, talentless duo, Jedward are facing a battle to stay in the public eye as the novelty has worn off. Two albums flopping and now dropped by their mentor, people have had enough.

Now I have to admit, I’ve nothing against them. Actually, I don’t watch anything they would be on or listen to their (alleged) music. But I do have to say one thing to them. Well done. A fantastic act of forging a career by being annoying twats of the highest degree. Come on, lads, it was never going to last, but you’ve done well out of pretending to be stupid.

I really hope they were pretending.

Twins … fascinating subject. Always amazed by the tales that one feels the pain of the other. In Jedward’s case, does that mean you’d only have to shoot the one of them?

 Daylight robbery.

Well, robbery of justice, anyway.

Interested to see criminal Ronnie Biggs, celebrating 50 years of the Great Train Robbery. Interested due to the fact the media seem to enjoy glorifying a scumbag who took part in a violent heist which ruined a man’s life, leading to his death shortly after.

Aug 11 - Ronnie Biggs

Here he is in March, still alive despite being given compassionate parole four years earlier while claiming he was on death’s door.

Living the life of luxury in South America for years, he only came home when the money ran out and needed the UK to help him in poor health.

Some people get away with murder. Ronald Biggs? You decide.

All the best, folks.

Hope to see you next week. Hope I’ll be here. Perhaps.



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