Tag Archive: Justin Bieber

Okay, so what have I been watching?

Aug 18 - Telly

I thought I’d comment this week on things I’d seen on TV, whether they be programmes or news articles. With that in mind, this is something I saw on a satellite channel so inconsequential, I cannot even recall which one it was.

Sweet Serenading Bieber.

Pop boy, Justin Bieber was in the papers yet again this week. Photos have emerged of him last Thanksgiving where he serenaded his grandmother, stark naked, bar a guitar in front of his manhood.

I was shocked by the pictures. Justin Bieber can play the guitar???

Actually, there is something disturbing about a 19-year-old being naked in front of his grandmother. Weird, or what?

Aug 18 - Justin Bieber naked

No, Justin, that’s not what we meant by wearing nothing but a g-string.

Bending your ear …

I watched pot luck game show, Deal or No Deal this week and was fortunate enough to see the first male winner of the top prize in eight years. Seemed a nice lad, only eighteen. However … did you see his ears?

Aug 18 - Deal or No Deal Winner

Yes, that’s him, sporting this bizarre craze of having ear stretchers.


Why … why would anybody want to do that?

Having massive rings put in your earlobes which over time, stretch them into a massive imitation polo mint.

I can never understand tattoos, but this goes further.

Are people that desperate to have somewhere to store their coat hangers? At least that guy off Deal or No Deal can now afford to buy a wardrobe.

And talking of Deal or No Deal …

I happened to tune in the other day and caught a celebrity edition of the show. Now … you may have got an inkling over these blogs, I’m not too fond of celebrities and all the rubbish which surrounds them and the media insistence that we should be obsessed with their lives. However, on this celebrity Deal, I was pleasantly surprised to learn just how nice Olly Murs is. 

Aug 18 - Olly Murs

Okay, I wouldn’t know any of his songs if he screamed them down my ear, and I will probably never listen to him, but he seems a pretty decent sort.


Talking of TV shows, can anybody explain the bloody rules of Take on The Twisters, because I’d really like to know. Arrrggh!

Aug 18 - Take on The Twisters

I miss the beginning every time and never get the explanation of the rules (if they even do so). I understand the questions bit, but what the hell is that with these bleeding circles? I can see I’m going to have to look it up on Wikipedia as it is currently making me very angry every time I see it.

Egg on his face.

Okay, there really wasn’t any other heading I could put to tell of the incident where Labour leader, Ed Milliband was pelted with eggs the other day.

Aug 18 - Ed Milliband pelted with eggs

He was doing a walkabout when suddenly, this guy lobbed the fowl articles at him. Still, no harm was done and Ed seemed to take the yoke in good humour. I still think the man who flung them was a bit of a prat, though. If you’re going to commit a crime, don’t wear a high visibility jacket when doing it.

Aug 18 - man in Flourescent jacket pelts Ed Milliband with eggs.

I bet he wouldn’t have been so brave had it been John Prescott in town. Funniest moment of the 2001 election campaign was when some guy pelted Prescott only for the minister to show his former boxing prowess and give the offending idiot a damn good right hook.

Aug 18 - John Prescott gets egged by man with bad hairdoo

I can’t recall if either were ever charged, though the thrower should have faced prosecution for being in possession of the worst mullet hairstyle this side of the 1980s.

Well, that ends the episode for today on TV watching.

See you all next week.

Aug 18 - Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel



The end of the world is nigh.

Dec 16 End of the World

Well it is if you follow the Mayan calendar. Apparently, next Friday, the world will come to an end because this is the date the Mayans foretold it would. I wouldn’t worry too much, they didn’t stop their own downfall coming so why should they have got this right. If they were that clever all those thousands of years ago, they’d have been working on space flight to get out the place pretty damn quick.

As I have said before, there is a possible explanation why their calendar ends 21 December 2012. Maybe they simply ran out of paper.

And if the world is going to end …

Is there any point in me going to see The Hobbit if I’ll never get a chance to see the other two films?

Dec 16 The Hobbit

Yes, I still can’t get over that one. The Hobbit is being made into three films. I loved Lord of the Rings. I’d waited years for such a fantastic version to be made and I could quite accept it being in three parts. But The Hobbit? Talk about milking an audience. I thought splitting Harry Potter into two was needless but Hobbit is only a couple of hundred pages long.

Am I being a grump when my first reaction to three films over three years was, ‘Oh Christ, do we have to do this again?’

So if I’m not going to watch The Hobbit due to the world ending, I’ll throw a pop concert instead.

And first on the bill will have to be Morrissey, mainly because he’s so blooming dull and pointless, it won’t matter that he’s the opening act. Nobody will mind as they’ll all be in the bar.

Dec 16 Morrissey

Morrissey, former front-man with The Smiths and singer of droning crap lyrics, made an astonishing rant this week. When speaking about the death of nurse Jacintha Salhanda, the woman who killed herself over the backfired Duchess of Cambridge radio prank, Morrissey blamed, not the Aussie DJs, but the Duchess herself. Makes a change. Didn’t the prat always sing we should Hang the DJs?

Morrissey questioned if the Duchess really was ill and it was her fault for being in hospital in the first place. The guy really is a moron. Not only that, he has caused me to defend the bloody royal family for the second time in two weeks. Grrrr!

Oh, let’s get the irritating ones out the way next.

I read this week that there was a plot to kidnap Justin Bieber and castrate him.

Noooooo! Do we need the little twerp to be able to sing in an even higher-pitched squeaky voice?

Dec 16 Justin Bieber

Yes, Justin, you do still have two. Maybe they’ll drop in a few years when you hit puberty.

Okay, so not only in this roast have I stuck up for the royal family again, I have Google-searched Justin Bieber. I’m going to have to delete my browsing history.

Which direction shall we take now?

Feb 26 One Direction

It’s going to be One Direction, here looking ridiculous in romper suits. Recently, band member Harry Styles has courted controversy by dating Taylor Swift. Apparently, their relationship has been likened to that of Yoko Ono when she gatecrashed the Beatles.

No. No, no, no, no no!

Difference: Taylor Swift has talent and is gorgeous. Yoko Ono just wailed into a microphone and looked like a … Okay, I won’t say it. Also, the Beatles are the biggest music act in history. One Direction (or 1D as they are trendily called) are a karaoke boy-band and one of a current breed of generic bags of shite whose instruments always appear to play themselves.

Now I mentioned the Beatles just then …

The music world was rocked this week when Paul McCartney teamed up with the remaining members of Nirvana. I’ve never known such an outcry. The horror of it. Saying that, all he did was jam on stage with Dave (God) Grohl, Krist Novoselic and Pat Smear.

Dec 16 Nirvana & McCartney

However for their next collaboration … a fresh recording of Smells Like Teen Spirit.

I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now, entertain us. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

And the headline act – direct from a train journey to Potters Bar.

80s Pop star, Kim Wilde was a little worse for wear when she boarded a train with brother Ricky after a boozy Christmas party. However, what I wouldn’t have given to have been a passenger and witness her slurring rendition of Kids in America.

Dec 16 Kim Wilde Train

Kim, your other early hit was You Keep Me Hanging On. Back in 1981, you kept this young teen of the time, hanging onto parts of his anatomy while looking at a poster of you taken out of Smash Hits Magazine. And for that, I thank you. Merry Christmas, Kim. Grow old disgracefully, that’s what I say. Rock & Roll.

But back to the impending doom.

So … If the world really is about to end, does that mean I don’t have to struggle with my Christmas tree? Yay! Okay, probably not a good reason to be thankful for the end of the world, but what should I do if it does look like it’s going to go bang? I know, I’ll dig out an old copy of Smash Hits and relive one or two happy childhood memories.

Dec 16 Kim WIlde



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