Tag Archive: Michael Jackson


A curse on Ye …

I have often wondered if there is somebody, somewhere, sticking pins in an Antony N Britt doll.

May 12 - Voodoo Doll © Antony N Britt

You see, things … happen to me. If there is bad service to be had, I will get it. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong, as four years worth of Sunday Roasts will testify. However, it is not just confined to myself. I recall a number of years back, an incident with my brother. He hadn’t been on a train for nearly twenty years whereas I’d been delayed by them daily during that time (Yes, mine were always late or cancelled). My brother had to go on a course in London, so he broke his absence of train rides one morning but got no further that the edge of town when he had to leave the train as a tree fell on it. I remember it now. It was on the local news and you could see him with many others, trudging along the line with his suitcase in hand. So it’s not just me and maybe, it is the Britt name which is cursed. This was reaffirmed this week when my eldest son was involved in a very near miss.

He was inside a bus stop, obviously waiting for one when the screech of tyres and crashing of metal alerted him to the motor vehicle sailing through the air like a scene from Final Destination.

Thankfully, he moved quick and was only trapped by his foot as the car landed upside down, demolishing the bus shelter he was in.

Perry Barr Fire Station Bus Crash

Above is a picture blatantly swiped from the Facebook page of Birmingham Updates. However, thanks to Perry Barr Fire Service for getting him out and for the good treatment he received from all the emergency services at the scene.

Not so, Sandwell Hospital. Chris was taken there, waited hours and after an X-Ray, was sent packing without any kind of dressings or a walking aid to support him. Days later, he’s still in pain and couldn’t put any weight on the foot. Remind me never to have an accident requiring treatment while in Sandwell.

He’s recovering. A real lucky escape but I am sorry to say, Chris, welcome to the world of being a Britt. Be prepared for things like this. Always add extra time to your journeys, carry a first aid kit and make sure you have a backup meal at home for the inevitable when the restaurant you go to serves up a pile of manure. Plus, wear a hard hat for the next time you encounter a low-flying car while trying to catch a bus.

God, help us.

Apparently, Michael Jackson was trying to get in touch with the afterlife when he took the jabs which killed him.

May 12 - Michael Jackson This is It

Success rate of 100%, then, don’t you think?

Does fame turn everybody into idiots?

And he was not alone …

Former Eastender star and one time drug addict, Danniella Westbrook has claimed she once spoke to God while under the influence of cocaine. The experience strengthened her faith and she talked about it on the religion propaganda show, Songs of Praise.

May 12 - Danniella Westbrook

Okay, Danniella, who else did you speak to while off your head? Elvis, Mother Teresa … or did you go the whole hog and see Lord Nelson fighting the Loch Ness Monster in your garden pond?

Talking of Nelson …

A memo sent by Admiral Nelson on the eve of the Battle of Trafalgar is expected to fetch a few thousand. In the note, Nelson speaks of all things, about a worry over onions.

May 12 - Lord Nelson

Hmmm … He’d have been better to have spent more time worrying about the skills of a French marksmen on the Redoubtable.

Faux-pas of the week.

Having been told they were getting a talk on piracy, members of the Parkham branch of the Women’s Institute dressed themselves up as swashbucklers to make a joke of the situation. However, faces turned as red as their bandanas when the speaker turned out to be Captain Colin Darch who was present to speak about his kidnap by Somalian Sea Bandits.

Can’t help laughing. He’s there recounting his ordeal of imprisonment and torture, and the women are all dressed like Captain Pugwash.

May 12 - Captain Pugwash

Have a good week, all.

Hope to see you again, and be careful, especially if you are waiting for a bus.

Cheers.

Nick

A busy schedule and a road trip.

You may have noticed the absence of a Sunday Roast last week. This was because it was my rest day, and that was smack bang in the middle of the shift pattern from hell. On that day off, I went to see David at his college in Wales and stop over for his review the next day.

After doing a long shift and travelling over 100 miles to see him, though, what does he want? Yes, I have to drive a further 40+ miles as he wishes to ride on the Blaenau Ffestiniog to Porthmadog Railway.

Once there, you’d have thought I’d asked the impossible of the ticket collector when I tried to pay on the train as we had to jump on quick in order to catch it.

It’s a lovely journey, though. Well, it would have been but for the rain. However, this was Wales. It always rains in Wales.

I do admit, I made a mistake now catching that earlier train and opting to spend three hours in Porthmadog as there is … well, nothing there. Totally bugger all to see once you’ve had a look at the trains.

Blaenau Ffestiniog to Porthmadog Railway © Antony N Britt

We did find a half decent cafe to eat in and it was entertaining to watch the young lass on the counter have to pull up her trousers every two seconds as they kept falling down. However, it was soon a case of asking the unheard of, again. David wanted chicken nuggets but the menu only had them as a kids meal. That meant David was only going to be given four of them. I asked if they could do a further four and I’d pay an extra couple of quid but no, apparently that was too hard. I did think of buying two kids nugget meals but by then, it was a matter of principle.

Don’t think I’ll go to Porthmadog again. There was a tiny shed which said that it held the Maritime Museum and there was also a model railway fair, billed as taking place … next week. Couldn’t help laughing at the below attraction which we passed during several walks up and down the street to kill time.

The World's Worst Crazy Golf Course © Antony N Britt

Yes, the world’s most boring and basic crazy golf attraction. It’s a strip of tarmac with a few obstacles stuck on. And I was expected to pay for that? No thanks.

And the traffic rumbles on.

Previously on the Sunday Roast …

I spoke of my irritation on motorways and how I get held up by cretins in heavy goods vehicles who hog the middle lane as they take two years to overtake another heavy goods vehicle in the inside one.

IMGP8932

Yes, that sort of thing. It was just a theory when I wrote it but being fresh in the memory and taking my road trip, I kept an eye out and found it’s so true.

Every time I came across a slowing of traffic and a little congestion, I found the answer at the front of the problem. Two bloody lorries playing cat and mouse as they overtook one another.

Arrrggghhh! Keep to the inside lane. You only save a few minutes on your journey by doing this madness and you cause problems for other drivers.

My brain is dying.

The reason – At work, I have had the misfortune to be subjected to Heart FM … at great lengths. Okay, not as bad as some stations but Kerrang, it ain’t. The odd good track but mostly middle of the road bilge. And if there is one song I hate, it’s that Michael Jackson oldie – Smooth Criminal.

May 5 - Michael Jackson Smmoth Criminal

Annie are you okay, are you okay Annie? Annie are you okay, are you okay Annie? Annie are you okay …? And he goes on and on and on, asking the same question.

Annie, for Christ’s sake, just answer the bloody man so we can get on and hear a decent song.

What kind of moron gives a loaded weapon to a five-year-old?

Answer: The kind who is allowed to by law.

Toy ones are scary enough but hey, some folk think they have the right to blow each others brains out. Whatever happened to giving kids a Johnny Seven and be done with it?

May 5 - Johnny Seven One Man Army Toy Gun

And a postscript to Thatcher’s funeral.

May 5 - Margaret Thatcher Spitting Image

I’ve made my feelings clear on the woman without, I hope, stooping to the distaste of some. However, in times of hardship, it was, I think, too much money to be spent on a state funeral for somebody who caused so much misery to the people now forced to fork out once more to bury her.

Apparently it didn’t cost as much as anticipated. For the taxpayer, it was only 6p per person.

Still too blooming much. She took enough off me back in the 80s. I want my money back on this one.

No more road trips for a while.

One .. I’m working. I’m posting this in the spare ten minutes between shifts. Two … David has made sure my fuel allowance for the next month has been eaten up in one big meal. I could raise some money, I suppose. Yeah, to purchase a car park, stick a few loose bricks around it and call it a crazy golf attraction. Sorted.

Cheers.

Nick

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