Tag Archive: Robbie Williams

Phew, what a scorcher!

Okay, I’m tempting fate, writing this on the hottest day of the year as I shall be at work when this posts. However, it is also supposed to be a roaster on Sunday so I’m trusting the BBC Weather Forecast to have got it right.

July 7 - Weather

They should, I mean, it’s not like they make a mistake like saying it won’t be windy only for a hurricane to blow.

I should also tempt fate and say well done, Andy Murray … but I won’t That’s taking expectation too far.

God save our impoverished Queen.

I mentioned this at the end of last week’s roast and heaven preserve us. Not content with the stupid millions she already gets every year while the rest of the country dies on it’s feet, the queen has been awarded a whopping £1.79million extra because she is struggling to make ends meet.

And one of the reasons is that upstarts, Kate and Will, needed their luxury palace redecorating. The Queen, it appears, covered the cost from her own purse (sorry … that should read, the taxpayer’s purse). As a result, Queeny needs to grab some public cash to make up for her shortfall. Nice to know in times of hardship, we’re all in this together. Yeah … like the rest of the nation can fund renovations without having to work 200 hours a month overtime to do so. Perhaps the royal family should try B&Q.

July 8 Queen and Charles Laughing

I find it obscene when millions are out of work and facing poverty, this overrated bunch get to live the good life just because their depraved ancestors had a bigger army than the opposition.

Get rid of them. They are not worth it. Yes, I know people will crow that they bring in tourism.

Rot. It is tradition and history which does that, not these privileged few.

Vive la revolution.

May the Main Course, be with you.

July 7- Star Wars

Once upon a time, there were two heroes. They were adored and millions flocked to the cinema to see them. That was then, and this is now as thirty years on, they reprise their rolls. Sorry, that should read, roles.

Original Star Wars heroes, Mark Hammil and Carrie Fisher are under orders to slim in order to appear in the latest round of the space soap opera. It seems they like their food too much and are deemed vastly overweight for their famed parts.

I think it’s a bit unfair. Luke Skywalker in his sixties … he should be sporting man boobs and with more hair than Chewbacca by now. What do they expect? And then there’s Princess Leia. Okay, that desert costume bikini thing while showing a muffin top belly may not have the same appeal as in Return of the Jedi, but let’s have some realism. Then again, after episodes 1 – 3, realism went out the window with tacky CGI effects and making Jedi knights akin to Superman rather than the original idea of a simple inner force.

No doubt it will make millions.

Does size matter?

Apparently it does with mobile phones.

It amazes me. I recall the huge bricks people used as mobile phones back in the 80s and early 90s. Since then, technology and practicality prevailed and we had some really nifty pocket phones.

Then the the trend turned.

No longer are folk happy with micro screens, you have to have a tablet. HTC One, Samsung Galaxy Mega, now we have the Sony Xperia Z at a whopping 6.4 inches. And there are more like it.

July 7- Tablet Phone

Look folks, it’s not the size of your tool that counts, it’s how you perform with it. I mean, these latest tablet phones … they’re not phones, let’s face it. And if you do want something that big … buy a bloody laptop.

Take that … you idiot!

Robbie Williams. There’s a man who matches Sting every step he takes in the competition for ultimate smugness, only Robbie is minus the talent.

However, the bland Take That crooner was in the papers recently talking about how he would buy drugs for his new daughter, just so he was sure she would be taking the best possible kind.

WTF? Is he on a different planet? How about not buying your kid illegal substances and spending the time doing something useful such as teaching her, drugs kill you. You know, being the sort of role model any decent father would want to be.

But is that Robbie? Guess not. And I suppose it’s a case of once a tosspot, always a tosspot.

Robbie Williams. The guy who made a career of looking like the nutter who stands pulling faces behind news reports on TV.

Feb 26 Robbie Williams

Got me face on the telly a’gin.

Dizzy Heights.

I didn’t see this feat, only read about it in the papers.

Nik Wallenda walked a quarter of a mile on a 2 inch wire over a 1,500 drop near the Grand Canyon at Little Colorado River Gorge.

July 7- Nik Wallenda

Kudos to the madman. Very few people would even contemplate such a task. Me … I got vertigo simply watching on You Tube.

That’s a wrap.

July 7- Chicken Wrap

Can’t mention the tennis and Andy Murray as I’m working today and have this on auto-post. If he does win, he’ll probably get a knighthood. Me … I’m currently working caring for a vulnerable person. You know, the job I do with little reward.

Even if they offered me an honour, it would be my privilege to tell them to stick it with their sceptre.



Am I mellowing?

In the months between my last Roast on Myspace and setting up the site here, I posted the odd comment on Facebook. This was mainly for lack of anywhere else to spout off. One of my many observations during this time, was the poor service I got from Gothic Girl at a local chip shop. You see, I have found a really nice fish and chip shop but it seems, good chips come with a price. Every time I go in, I have to wait fifteen minutes as they haven’t got anything cooked. Now listen. It’s called fish – and chips, it’s what they sell but never have any ready to serve.

I digress; you get the gist. Service is poor and last week was no exception. Unfortunately, for this blog, I can’t bring myself to have a go at Gothic Girl today as she was so bloody pleasant to me. I’m going soft, I can’t do it to the poor Corpse Bride.

What am I going to do? I’ve lost my touch. I can see it now. Next time I go into Pizza Hut to be told they’ve run out of dough, I’m going to say, ‘That’s okay, I’ll have pasta instead.’

Arrgghhh! What is happening to me?

And the winner is …

Apparently, Robbie Williams has been voted the world’s hottest man. Why, has he been sitting on a radiator all day? I have to admit, I never could see the appeal in terms of good looks for this fella, apart from the obvious “He’s rich and famous,” line. Perhaps it’s me and the fact I don’t understand what sort of looks women go for, in general. What I do know is, I always think Robbie is the spitting image of the stereotypical guy who stands behind news reporters and pulls silly faces. Oh well, at least he didn’t win a Brit award this year.

And speaking of the Brits …

The economy is in crisis, Syria is being bombed to bits but the biggest news in the UK is … that Adele had her Brit Award acceptance speech ruined to allow Blur to perform their set. Yes, Adele, the worldwide singing sensation (or monotonous dirge, depending on your viewpoint), was just about to thank everybody from her mum to the local postman when compere, James Cordon, was told to cut her off in mid-sob as the show had overrun. I have watched it now on You Tube and haven’t a lot of sympathy because if she hadn’t spent an entire minute trying to milk the crowd while fawning about saying, “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,” she might have got a few words of note into an acceptance.

Still, she was booted off the stage while displaying a disgraceful finger gesture to allow 90s pop band, Blur, onto the stage.

Blur had earlier won a special award for outstanding contribution to music. I’d be more impressed if they hadn’t spent six of their 21 years together, in a hiatus. How the hell is that an outstanding contribution?

At least the fantastic Foo Fighters won an award for best international group; much deserved after the excellent ‘Wasting Light,’ album last year.

The award that amused me was the one for best single, won by teeny group, One Direction. They may have polled more telephone votes, but do their fans realise you should get the bill payer’s permission (their parents) before ringing in.

One Direction – A group of guys who got lost following the leader in Peter Pan, it seems. Ugh! There’s only one direction my volume goes if I hear them on my car radio.

Not the best idea in the world.

Okay, lesson for the future. Don’t watch the Jeremy Kyle Show while you are eating.

Spaghetti bolognese did not taste good after watching her. And yes, the personality was as vile as she looks.

Nob of the week

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear tyrant …

Happy birthday to you

Robert Mugabe turned 88 this week, still presiding over a country whose population’s average life expectancy is only 34 years of age. There’s no justice is there? Mugabe says the success of living longer is to give up alcohol, smoking and red meat. Yes Robert, as your country is in poverty, your people don’t do any of that anyway. The real success of living to a ripe old age in Zimbabwe, it seems, is to become a ruthless dictator and live in luxury while the rest of your people starve. Then they too, may live to be 88.

Look at the King, look at the King, look at the … er, Queen?

I’ve never got it – London Fashion Week and any kind of fashion nonsense to be honest. It always shows just how true the theory of the Emperor’s New Clothes, is. All these people fawning about over models dressed in carrier bags held together with safety pins; who are they kidding that they think it’s good?

However, the best was this week when at a show, hats were paraded by models in the nude – apart from the hats, that is. As I say, Emperor’s New Clothes has come full circle now and you’re not telling me that any of the audience were not simply ogling the naked women.

Still, I suppose it was better than looking at the rubbish hats.

The worst leaving present – EVER!

One of the other things I posted on Facebook in my blogging absence was this picture of Roger Medwell and his farewell gift on retiring after 55 years with British Aerospace.

‘Hmmm … I wonder what they’ll get me: some garden furniture, a stereo system? Even an ornamental clock would do. Oh, here it is now …’

‘Bugger!’ Grit’s teeth. ‘Smile Roger, smile.’

Mind you, when I finished with West Midlands Police, the only official thing given to me was a certificate stating that I had worked for them for 17 years.

Yes, thanks for that, but seeing as it was me who worked there, I did actually know this in the first place.



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