Phew, what a scorcher!

Okay, I’m tempting fate, writing this on the hottest day of the year as I shall be at work when this posts. However, it is also supposed to be a roaster on Sunday so I’m trusting the BBC Weather Forecast to have got it right.

July 7 - Weather

They should, I mean, it’s not like they make a mistake like saying it won’t be windy only for a hurricane to blow.

I should also tempt fate and say well done, Andy Murray … but I won’t That’s taking expectation too far.

God save our impoverished Queen.

I mentioned this at the end of last week’s roast and heaven preserve us. Not content with the stupid millions she already gets every year while the rest of the country dies on it’s feet, the queen has been awarded a whopping £1.79million extra because she is struggling to make ends meet.

And one of the reasons is that upstarts, Kate and Will, needed their luxury palace redecorating. The Queen, it appears, covered the cost from her own purse (sorry … that should read, the taxpayer’s purse). As a result, Queeny needs to grab some public cash to make up for her shortfall. Nice to know in times of hardship, we’re all in this together. Yeah … like the rest of the nation can fund renovations without having to work 200 hours a month overtime to do so. Perhaps the royal family should try B&Q.

July 8 Queen and Charles Laughing

I find it obscene when millions are out of work and facing poverty, this overrated bunch get to live the good life just because their depraved ancestors had a bigger army than the opposition.

Get rid of them. They are not worth it. Yes, I know people will crow that they bring in tourism.

Rot. It is tradition and history which does that, not these privileged few.

Vive la revolution.

May the Main Course, be with you.

July 7- Star Wars

Once upon a time, there were two heroes. They were adored and millions flocked to the cinema to see them. That was then, and this is now as thirty years on, they reprise their rolls. Sorry, that should read, roles.

Original Star Wars heroes, Mark Hammil and Carrie Fisher are under orders to slim in order to appear in the latest round of the space soap opera. It seems they like their food too much and are deemed vastly overweight for their famed parts.

I think it’s a bit unfair. Luke Skywalker in his sixties … he should be sporting man boobs and with more hair than Chewbacca by now. What do they expect? And then there’s Princess Leia. Okay, that desert costume bikini thing while showing a muffin top belly may not have the same appeal as in Return of the Jedi, but let’s have some realism. Then again, after episodes 1 – 3, realism went out the window with tacky CGI effects and making Jedi knights akin to Superman rather than the original idea of a simple inner force.

No doubt it will make millions.

Does size matter?

Apparently it does with mobile phones.

It amazes me. I recall the huge bricks people used as mobile phones back in the 80s and early 90s. Since then, technology and practicality prevailed and we had some really nifty pocket phones.

Then the the trend turned.

No longer are folk happy with micro screens, you have to have a tablet. HTC One, Samsung Galaxy Mega, now we have the Sony Xperia Z at a whopping 6.4 inches. And there are more like it.

July 7- Tablet Phone

Look folks, it’s not the size of your tool that counts, it’s how you perform with it. I mean, these latest tablet phones … they’re not phones, let’s face it. And if you do want something that big … buy a bloody laptop.

Take that … you idiot!

Robbie Williams. There’s a man who matches Sting every step he takes in the competition for ultimate smugness, only Robbie is minus the talent.

However, the bland Take That crooner was in the papers recently talking about how he would buy drugs for his new daughter, just so he was sure she would be taking the best possible kind.

WTF? Is he on a different planet? How about not buying your kid illegal substances and spending the time doing something useful such as teaching her, drugs kill you. You know, being the sort of role model any decent father would want to be.

But is that Robbie? Guess not. And I suppose it’s a case of once a tosspot, always a tosspot.

Robbie Williams. The guy who made a career of looking like the nutter who stands pulling faces behind news reports on TV.

Feb 26 Robbie Williams

Got me face on the telly a’gin.

Dizzy Heights.

I didn’t see this feat, only read about it in the papers.

Nik Wallenda walked a quarter of a mile on a 2 inch wire over a 1,500 drop near the Grand Canyon at Little Colorado River Gorge.

July 7- Nik Wallenda

Kudos to the madman. Very few people would even contemplate such a task. Me … I got vertigo simply watching on You Tube.

That’s a wrap.

July 7- Chicken Wrap

Can’t mention the tennis and Andy Murray as I’m working today and have this on auto-post. If he does win, he’ll probably get a knighthood. Me … I’m currently working caring for a vulnerable person. You know, the job I do with little reward.

Even if they offered me an honour, it would be my privilege to tell them to stick it with their sceptre.

Cheers.

Nick

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