Archive for July, 2013


The Sunday Roast – A Nice Weekend Break.

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July 28, 2013

Actually, it was last weekend.

You may have noticed there wasn’t a roast last Sunday. That was because I was away at my sisters caravan, enjoying the delights of Aberystwyth.

July 28 - Aberystwyth © Antony N Britt

And it was lovely. Never been before and I can recommend it for a nice quiet break. I mean, it’s so tranquil and one would hope that even in my calamitous life, I could go a whole weekend without finding something stupid to write about.

Okay … you’d be wrong.

Take the trip to Aberaeron …

Now I have to say, Aberaeron is also lovely. However, it seems it is a little more upmarket than most places I am used to.

I’ll say. I’m live in crappy Walsall, a town filled with money lenders and pound shops like this.

July 28 - Poundland

However, to be fair, Aberaeron also has its pound shops … or rather they used to.

This is a picture taken a year or so back. A discount shop in Aberaeron – The Famous £1 Store.

July 28 - Famous £1 Shop Aberaeron

Nothing wrong in that, however it seems the times are hard and inflation has caught up with Aberaeron. See …

July 28 - Aberaeron Famous £1.20 Store

So the £1 shop has felt the chancellor’s penny pinching and is now hiked up to a famous £1.20 shop. Famous for what … being the first discount store to whack up the prices?

And it wasn’t just that shop. Now I’m not normally one to complain (stop laughing), but £4.05 is by far the most money I have ever paid for a whippy ice cream, courtesy of The Hive in Aberaeron.

July 28 - Aberaeron - Worlds Most Expensive Ice Cream Cone

Four pound bloody five pence! Where did they ship the ice from … Antarctica?

Still, a blip on a perfect weekend. Just the one so far …

And then we went to Borth …

Borth is a dead town, and I mean – of graveyard proportions. If Borth had been a living being, it would now be a zombie, forced to walk the earth pretending it was still alive.

I won’t name and shame the gift shop because at least they tried. However, at the back of a row of tacky ceramic dogs, my curiosity was aroused by this …

July 28 - Borth Garden Centre

Garden Centre? But we were only in a tiny shop. I know, perhaps there was a huge expanse of shrubbery, decking and garden ornaments to choose from.

July 28 - Borth Garden Centre (2)

Okay, maybe not. Quite the worst garden centre in the world.

Then I went next door to the amusement arcade.

Walking past dated slot machines, I was disturbed by the overwhelming smell of petrol which seemed to permeate the air. Then as I traversed the entire twelve yards of the fun feast, I came across the grab machine with the least chance ever of winning a toy.

July 28 - Grab Machine

Borth even has its own tourist information centre. I should have popped in. Do they know something I don’t?

A break at the unfriendliest tea shop, ever.

So we left Aberystwyth and headed home. However, wanting to prolong the holiday, we thought it would be nice to stop and have a drink at a quaint little place on the Welshpool Light Railway. Namely, Llanfair Caereinion.

Well, it would have been quaint had it not been for the most unfriendliest and unhelpful attendant ever encountered behind the counter of a coffee bar. Talk about looking on us as though we’d walked in from a dung heap. I know it was the hottest day of the year, but there was no need to substitute the air conditioning with a frosty reception such as that.

You’d think we’d asked a monumental favour by wanting milk in our coffee. The face on her when it ran out and she had to get some more!

July 28 - Llanfair Caereinion Unfriendly Coffee Shop

There she is, blurred in the distance. The one with the white hair. The photo is of such a poor quality because (a) I was taking it in a clandestine manner and (b) I don’t want her to sue me.

I’m back home now.

So that’s about it. My nice weekend away. But still on the subject of Llanfair Caereinion, I took this photo of a signpost outside the railway station. The middle sign is pointing saying , Railway Station.

July 28 - Llanfair Caereinion

Talk about stating the bleeding obvious – having the sign say where the station is when it is so obviously twenty feet over the road.

Cheers.

Nick

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The Sunday Roast – CDs, Spicy Chicken and Crap Films.

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July 14, 2013

Catch up time …

Been extremely busy recently. Haven’t had much time for writing but I thought today, I’d focus on a few things observed during the past few weeks.

Food glorious food.

In all the madness of a hectic life, I don’t think I have spoken about the time I had in London when I went to see Green Day at the Arsenal Emirates Stadium in June.

The gig was fantastic. Billie Joe Armstrong is a Svengali. If he told me to dive into the crowd and surf, I would.

July 14 - Emirates Stadium Green Day

You can just about see the band on this pic, but in my defence, has anybody ever taken a good picture at a concert?

As I say, fantastic day, but I wish I could say the same about the eating options courtesy of Arsenal Football Club.

Now you know me and food places, if there is crap to be had, I will find it. Travelling a fair distance and wanting to get to our seats as quickly as possible, I thought we’d sample the stadium cuisine. What an idiot I was. You see Arsenal offer a choice of pizza slices, spicy chicken and … er, that’s it. They didn’t even have chips! What sort of bloody eating establishment doesn’t do chips? Jacket Potatoes, pies? No, just cardboard pizza and (very) spicy chicken.

Arsenal are one of the top Premier League football clubs. However their food is pretty much Non-League.

After the concert, starving with sore throats due to singing along to Green Day, plus too much spicy chicken, we found a McDonald’s in Harringay. Yes, I know it was late but you’d think they’d clear the tables of leftover meals.

July 14 - Emirates Stadium Green Day (2)

Yes, I know it’s blurred, as were my eyes after a long day. However, the picture tells the story. It was disgusting. Not a single empty table without half-eaten burgers of cartons everywhere.

Next time I have a day out in London for a concert at a football stadium, I think I’ll take sandwiches.

Trucking along with Eddie Stobart.

Saw an advert for a new CD. Eddie Stobart Trucking Songs. I never knew Eddie Stobart was in rock band. Oh, I see, they are just using the name to sell CDs.

July 14 - Eddie Stobart Trucking Songs CD

Now if you’ve read some of my more recent roasts, you will know I have a thing about truck drivers and in particular, how they drive on the motorway, taking half an hour to overtake another truck while holding up all of the traffic.

IMGP8932

Yes, I know I’ve used that shot a lot recently, but it tells the story.

Still, what songs could a truck driving themed CD consist of?

Anything by the 70s group, Middle of the Road.

Drive Slow – Kanye West

Stuck in the Middle with You – Steelers Wheel.

Road Rage – Catatonia

The album, Learning to Crawl – The Pretenders.

Any more that poeple can think of? I think I’ll stick to my playlist, plus hoot my horn if lorry drivers continue to drive like morons.

Faster and even more Furious Ridiculous.

I had the misfortune to have to go to the cinema recently to see Fast and Furious 6. Now, I admit, it wasn’t my sort of film and I knew this from the off, but I had no choice in what I went to see.

July 14 - Fast and Furious 6

Not only do car chases bore me, I hadn’t seen Fast and Furious 1-5. I like something more in my cinema entertainment, that special ingredient in a film. Namely, a plot.

Take away the high speed chases in Fast and Furious 6 and you’re left with ten minutes. Mind you, easy job for the actors. Let’s face it … not much script to learn.

The whole thing was ridiculous and nothing more so than the final chase. As the baddies are trying to take off on a huge plane, our heroes are after them on the longest runway known to man. I’m not sure how fast a plane has to be to achieve take off but the chase took over fifteen minutes. Therefore, I reckon they’d need a fifty mile runway to make good what the screen portrayed.

What a rubbish trip to the pictures. They don’t make films like Gandhi any more.

Or do they?

July 14 - Ghandi II The Empire Strikes Back

So that’s it.

I don’t know where the days go. As soon as I press click to post this, it will be time to do it all over again. I’m sure as you get older, you lose ten minutes from every hour.

Cheers.

Nick

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The Sunday Roast – Roasting Away.

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July 7, 2013

Phew, what a scorcher!

Okay, I’m tempting fate, writing this on the hottest day of the year as I shall be at work when this posts. However, it is also supposed to be a roaster on Sunday so I’m trusting the BBC Weather Forecast to have got it right.

July 7 - Weather

They should, I mean, it’s not like they make a mistake like saying it won’t be windy only for a hurricane to blow.

I should also tempt fate and say well done, Andy Murray … but I won’t That’s taking expectation too far.

God save our impoverished Queen.

I mentioned this at the end of last week’s roast and heaven preserve us. Not content with the stupid millions she already gets every year while the rest of the country dies on it’s feet, the queen has been awarded a whopping £1.79million extra because she is struggling to make ends meet.

And one of the reasons is that upstarts, Kate and Will, needed their luxury palace redecorating. The Queen, it appears, covered the cost from her own purse (sorry … that should read, the taxpayer’s purse). As a result, Queeny needs to grab some public cash to make up for her shortfall. Nice to know in times of hardship, we’re all in this together. Yeah … like the rest of the nation can fund renovations without having to work 200 hours a month overtime to do so. Perhaps the royal family should try B&Q.

July 8 Queen and Charles Laughing

I find it obscene when millions are out of work and facing poverty, this overrated bunch get to live the good life just because their depraved ancestors had a bigger army than the opposition.

Get rid of them. They are not worth it. Yes, I know people will crow that they bring in tourism.

Rot. It is tradition and history which does that, not these privileged few.

Vive la revolution.

May the Main Course, be with you.

July 7- Star Wars

Once upon a time, there were two heroes. They were adored and millions flocked to the cinema to see them. That was then, and this is now as thirty years on, they reprise their rolls. Sorry, that should read, roles.

Original Star Wars heroes, Mark Hammil and Carrie Fisher are under orders to slim in order to appear in the latest round of the space soap opera. It seems they like their food too much and are deemed vastly overweight for their famed parts.

I think it’s a bit unfair. Luke Skywalker in his sixties … he should be sporting man boobs and with more hair than Chewbacca by now. What do they expect? And then there’s Princess Leia. Okay, that desert costume bikini thing while showing a muffin top belly may not have the same appeal as in Return of the Jedi, but let’s have some realism. Then again, after episodes 1 – 3, realism went out the window with tacky CGI effects and making Jedi knights akin to Superman rather than the original idea of a simple inner force.

No doubt it will make millions.

Does size matter?

Apparently it does with mobile phones.

It amazes me. I recall the huge bricks people used as mobile phones back in the 80s and early 90s. Since then, technology and practicality prevailed and we had some really nifty pocket phones.

Then the the trend turned.

No longer are folk happy with micro screens, you have to have a tablet. HTC One, Samsung Galaxy Mega, now we have the Sony Xperia Z at a whopping 6.4 inches. And there are more like it.

July 7- Tablet Phone

Look folks, it’s not the size of your tool that counts, it’s how you perform with it. I mean, these latest tablet phones … they’re not phones, let’s face it. And if you do want something that big … buy a bloody laptop.

Take that … you idiot!

Robbie Williams. There’s a man who matches Sting every step he takes in the competition for ultimate smugness, only Robbie is minus the talent.

However, the bland Take That crooner was in the papers recently talking about how he would buy drugs for his new daughter, just so he was sure she would be taking the best possible kind.

WTF? Is he on a different planet? How about not buying your kid illegal substances and spending the time doing something useful such as teaching her, drugs kill you. You know, being the sort of role model any decent father would want to be.

But is that Robbie? Guess not. And I suppose it’s a case of once a tosspot, always a tosspot.

Robbie Williams. The guy who made a career of looking like the nutter who stands pulling faces behind news reports on TV.

Feb 26 Robbie Williams

Got me face on the telly a’gin.

Dizzy Heights.

I didn’t see this feat, only read about it in the papers.

Nik Wallenda walked a quarter of a mile on a 2 inch wire over a 1,500 drop near the Grand Canyon at Little Colorado River Gorge.

July 7- Nik Wallenda

Kudos to the madman. Very few people would even contemplate such a task. Me … I got vertigo simply watching on You Tube.

That’s a wrap.

July 7- Chicken Wrap

Can’t mention the tennis and Andy Murray as I’m working today and have this on auto-post. If he does win, he’ll probably get a knighthood. Me … I’m currently working caring for a vulnerable person. You know, the job I do with little reward.

Even if they offered me an honour, it would be my privilege to tell them to stick it with their sceptre.

Cheers.

Nick

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