It’s been snow joke trying to walk into town this week.
But finally, the white stuff has all but gone. What I want to know is, how come every road in the borough appeared to have seen a sprinkle of rock salt at some point or other … except mine, that is.
That was after five days and no sign of it being cleared. Hmm … Do you think it might have a little to do with my recent criticism towards the local council? You know, the sort of thing I wrote in this blog, plus about every other Walsall blog, and finally, in a letter to my local paper where I accused the council leader of having a God Complex and failing the people who elected him.
Come on, the letter wasn’t that scathing in the end. I mean, they edited out, sycophantic wankers and total greedy bastards, so I really don’t see the reason for not clearing the snow from my road.
I didn’t mind. The exercise in walking into town did me good. I must have burned numerous calories on my way to get my Full English Breakfast, the other day.
As for the snow, I built my first snowman for nearly 40 years, last Sunday. I thought he’d stop my nosy neighbours peering through the non-existent fence they can’t be bothered to replace.
Come into my garden (ha ha!) and I’ll give you nightmares for a week.
And talking of snowmen …
Silliest headline of the week was this one in the Daily Mirror.
Yes, agencies worried about flooding caused by melting snow advised us all to build snowmen.
Really? I’m kind of guessing there wasn’t much going on in the news that day.
A Hazardous game – football.
Football was overshadowed this week by a new sport called, Let’s kick the ball-boy.
Yes, 0-2 down to Swansea and with ten minutes to go, Chelsea player, Eden Hazard tried to retrieve the ball to speed the game up. However, he didn’t reckon on coming into conflict with head-case ball-boy, Charlie Morgan.
Spoilt brat, Charlie, son of a Swansea City director, reacted first in trying to get to the ball. It was ironic. You see, it was the fastest any of the biased home-based ball boys had moved all night in their attempts to stall for time and basically – cheat.
Charlie was no exception. Instead of simply picking up the ball and giving it back to the nearest player, he dived on it and tried to stop Eden Hazard from getting to it. In frustration, the player aimed a kick at the ball, freed it and tried to resume play. However, our right little Charlie rolled around like … well, like most overseas footballers do when a boot brushing their shin produces a reaction akin to as if they’d been shot.
Hazard was sent off and Charlie, escorted from the pitch for treatment and an Oscar for the best over-acting on a football pitch since Rivaldo went down clutching his head during the 2002 World Cup, despite being hit on the thigh.
Would Chelsea, with eleven men still on the field, changed the result? Probably not. Were the Swansea ball-boys a load of cheating bastards? Most definitely. Still, seeing as it happened to buy yourself a team without working hard for it, Chelsea, nobody is that bothered they lost.
As for Charlie Morgan, he just looked what he is, a right knob-end.
Tweet Tweet …
The Pope caused confusion this week by tweeting in the old-fashioned and outdated, traditional Latin.
Yes, Pope during the day and Sith Lord by night, Darth Ratzinger’s tweet was read by millions … and understood by none.
Mind you, it’s about par for the course with any of the other outdated and unbelievable biblical bullshit he comes out with. I took a quick look at his Twitter page and was amused to find that despite having 1.5 million idiots, I mean – followers, Ratzinger follows but eight people, and they are all himself in different languages. Nothing supercilious about that, then. Perhaps he should add a ninth to include Latin for the three people who still speak the language.
Wiki-lies.
It’s common knowledge that if you base anything factual on stuff you read on Wikipedia, you are risking inaccuracy. Even so, I wasn’t, until this week, aware there were deliberate hoaxes.
Fictitious holy people, the name of Julius Caesars assassin, even imaginary wars – they are all, or were, on there.
And look at this one, taken from a current page which you can view right now …
Yes, Katie Price and the fact it states she’s an author.
See what I mean … fabrications.
A right load of bankers.
Bank of England Chief, Mervin King says bailed out banks such as Lloyd’s and RBS should be allowed to return to the private sector. Great, can the public have their money back? Yes, Mervin, we know you have the title, Sir, but some folk reckon that has to be earned, not just because you’re wealthy. And so you think these banks should be privatised again. Right, because it’s not like they made a complete balls-up last time they were so.
Bit of an own-goal.
No, I’m not on about football again. I’m talking about the BBC and their latest gaffe over the Jimmy Savile paedophile scandal. Not content to allow the man to allegedly abuse hundreds of young girls over 40 years, they re-ran, without checking, a ten-year old kids programme which featured a spoof impersonation of Savile.
The Tweenies. The only thing marginally more creepy than Jimmy Savile.
And the snow is virtually gone as I speak.
The roads are clear again. The only bad thing is, because the snow on the pavements was so compacted, it is now rock-hard ice and dangerous underfoot. Therefore, we are all walking in the road and risking getting run over by the cars now they can drive again.
Now I’ll see a council wagon down my road, when one hits me.
Cheers.
Nick
Antony N Britt - Author 